I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize