My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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