so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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