You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
