I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
