Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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