they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
