It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
