she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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