MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize