dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
