I just made out with a guy for $7.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
