I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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