At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
