I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
