thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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