He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
