foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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