I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
