Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
