its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
