how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
