i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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