WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize