We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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