after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
