you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He shit in the fireplace
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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