I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
