Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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