I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
