she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Randomize