Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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