we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
