Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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