I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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