i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
