Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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