areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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