what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
