I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
