Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize