Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
