I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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