i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
