I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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