Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
