I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
