Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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