they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im six kinds of drunk right now
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
