After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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