sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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