Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
