I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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