I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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