He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
