I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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