Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
