bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
