last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
as a side note pls kill me
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