She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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