Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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