I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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