I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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