So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Randomize
