i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i came on her dog
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
