girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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