We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
