real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Actions speak louder than pants.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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