Even the bartender felt bad for me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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